“Dobryi vecher, druz’ya moi. I have a little job that I think you might be interested in. As you may know, with this merzost, this monster on our trail, I have been looking to acquire more effective means of dealing with it than what we currently have available. As it happens my desires and those of my associates overlap at the current time, and so I have come to possess information that could serve us both. Unfortunately I have other obligations I must look after just now, so I would like to present you this opportunity for our mutual benefit.
An associate of mine, you see, has a habit of eavesdropping on private conversations. A terrible habit, I know, but occasionally he overhears useful things. Such things as a group of unpleasant men who, how you say, get their rocks off beating and killing orcs down in Carbonado. Men who also brag of how their friends in Fort Lewis have gotten them enough hardware to “get rid of those fuckin keebs once ‘n for all”.
My associates and I think we would put this hardware to better use than a bunch of muzhlanov. We are willing to pay a good price for any of this equipment you can retrieve for us. As well, I personally am interested in a few items of more specialized use that they may have in their stockpile, and will pay out of my own pocket should you find anything on my little shopping list. I’ve attached a sample of what we have to this message. That should be sufficient to track them down. If not, let me know. Otherwise, when you have what we’re looking for, you know how to contact me.
// Begin File Attachment: multiple attachments To:Nimroder (Rod.Hardy@road2net.com) From:BOLTACTION (firstname.lastname@example.org) Date: Sat, 6 Aug 2072 14:20:24 -0700 Subject: GOAAAAAL!! Hey man, grats on the game yesterday. That Jenny of yours is a hell of a goalie. Here's a coupla vids I took during the game: // Steganographic encryption detected. // Data bomb detected. // Data bomb disarmed. // Begin Decrypted Message: Preacher says everybody needs to show up early for Church tomorrow. We're getting in the last shipment of goodies from our friend over at Fort Lewis and he wants everyone there to stand guard. Forget hunting the fraggers, with all this he says we're finally gonna be able to get rid of those fucking keebs once and for all. And we've got a special treat: Tommy caught a couple of tuskers and a trog snooping around, and before the sermon Preacher's gonna give them one of his special cleansings. Don't wanna miss that. // End File // Begin AvChat Log // Users: BOLTACTION (boltaction.totalucas.net@91F6:C547:E58C:C7EB::), 306Steve (306steve.microthought.net@1171:0510:0640:CDD3::) // Date: Sat, 30 Jul Aug 2072 13:32:50 -0700 // thread-index: Acs4MPI1Y7aa2idwRCCARj52XsOdqA== [13:32:50] * 306Steve (306steve.microthought.net@1171:0510:0640:CDD3::) has invited you to chat. [13:32:50] * You are no longer marked as Away [13:33:39] (306Steve) HEYOOO! [13:34:08] (BOLTACTION) hey [13:34:28] (306Steve) Hey man, you wanna go pig huntin with me and summa the boys tonight? [13:38:39] (BOLTACTION) We ain't supposed to go huntin for another coupla days, bro. Preach sez it's too soon after the BBQ last night (cf: Knight Errant incident blotter, 7/29/72 23:17:43 SEA/Sumner: Gang violence suspected in Mudd's Pub fire). [13:39:50] (306Steve) C'mon, man, huntin while they're all riled up like makes it even more fun. Not like Tommy's gonna call us in. I was thinkin we might try ta find a warthog. [13:40:34] (BOLTACTION) Fuck that, man, I ain't goin warthog huntin without the whole gang, that's a good way to get trog-bit like Rod did. I can't afford a new arm like he could. Preach'd find out for sure and we'd be in all kinda trouble. [13:41:10] (306Steve) Yeah, spose. Hey, you think Rods been lookin kinda tusky since then? [13:43:17] (BOLTACTION) I told you it don't work like that, we cut it off high enough, he ain't gonna go all green on us. He's just pissed cause he misses Rosy Palm and her five sisters. [13:44:27] (306Steve) LOL! Aright man, guess I'll have to find another way to get Tammy all riled up. See ya at church. [13:44:52] (BOLTACTION) See ya, man [13:45:00] * 306Steve has left the chat.